For all the Rumi Lovers... my recent on-repeat track is a beautiful rendition of Rumi's poem in a qawalli Har Lehza Ba Shakalan... Makes me fall in love, breathe love, dance love. =)
Also noticeable is a constant similar focus as in Kabir's poetry especially the earthen pot analogy. Love it!
Mahakala: “On one hand there is the Saguna Brahman, the samsara,
which is the infinity of forms, endless. On the other, the Nirguna Brahman,
which is formless infinity, absolutely no form, zero as far as form is
concerned. Between these two, connecting them together is Mahakala. He is the
fulcrum, the tangent between Infinity and Zero.”
Smarahara: “In Sanskrit, the
word for memory and the word for the God of lust is the same: Smara. Desire is
the cause of all karma, and when desire is destroyed memory too will go, and
you will be free. That is why Losd Shiva is calledSmarahara(meaning Destroyer of Lust as well as
Destroyer of Memory.) Sma in grammar means “past”. Memory is the only past.Sma-raharais He who transforms you from present
tense to past tense. He who kills you.Sma-shanis the place where you go from present
to past, where you are transformed from existence into a memory.”
Kita bramari nyaya- the Law
of Caterpillar and Butterfly: whatever you concentrate on you will eventually
become.
Dhuni- sadhu’s fire
“Kamaturnam
na bhayam na lajja”: fear and shame do not exist for those afflicted with the
disease of desire.
The
expression of Shakti in the physical body is Prana, the life force, the power which keeps body, mind and spirit
functioning together as a living unit.
Third Eye
“My forehead aches a lot while meditating. It’s
uncontrollable”.
“Why is there creation? Because of friction. Without
friction there is no creation. And wherever there is friction, there is fire.
Can you produce fire without friction? No. Unless you take it directly from the
sun, using a magnifying glass for instance.”
"can you control creation? Art is my supreme creative expression. Free".
‘Where even ravi (the sun) cannot reach, there
will go a kavi (poet). But that does not go far enough. I say, ‘where even a
kavi cannot reach, there will go an anubhavi (experiencer).”
Two souls merge into one another, can
anyone describe it?
Something about the way you Smile, i may never know the Reason why...
I am in the process of
doing my undergraduate research project with autistic children. Being an expressive person myself , i’m quite
intrigued by the interplay of emotions. So when i was reading about autism and
their ‘deficit’ of emotional understanding and attachment, it was hard to
digest which is why i began my journey to explore and experiment...
Nevertheless, i shall
rant less about my research and more about my new found love. Yes, I have been swept
off my feet by one of such priceless ‘gem’ that I discovered during my exploration.
Her name is Muskaan which literally translates
to a smile.
Muskaan is a 13 year
old (extremely pretty) autistic and non verbal child. This means that apart
from autistic symptoms, she has not spoken a word or a syllable or a sound since
her birth. Quite evidently, being a non verbal child, I could not proceed with
my ‘research design’ with her, since my activity involved at least basic communication verbal with the child. Moreover, Muskaan has also had frequent epileptic fits since
the age of 2 years. She is EXTREMELY thin, with no basic human instinct to eat and
drink (so practically food has to be forced into her). She also suffers from gravitational
insecurity (especially an avoidance towards stairs, though she is comfortable
in an elevator.)
The only time that I spent with her was 2 hours (1 hour on each day) during her session of Auditory Integration Therapy. I am told that she has made marked improvements. There was
a time when Muskaan would just refuse to hear any sound or music and
immediately locate it’s source to unplug it. She also has this obsession of
holding pins (board pins or staple pins) in her hand, but she is not at all
self injurious. She also has this constant habit of peeling... (wood paint or
scratching anything that is scratch-able).
Even though I spent
only 2 hours with her, her presence in my life has been bliss. That one hour
with her seemed like ages of communication making time- elastic and filtering
moments. The first time I met her, she did not seem scared of me at all (otherwise
very atypical of her behaviour). The second
time I met her, was after a gap of 20 days. She entered the room, came towards
me and held my sweater from the waist. Was she hugging me? :O *dazed* I would definitely
like to assume YES! And this was one of those moments i felt i was in a trance
and unable to react. She spent some time looking around in the room, locating
the pin and holding it in her hand. The speech therapist and i had to
forcefully make her sit down to make her listen to musical rhymes on the
computer as part of her routine.
Muskaan generally has
an expressionless face, with only occasional slight smiles. Her smiles are to
die for... i used to literally dance whenever i would see her smile or meet her eye
(as she rarely makes an eye contact). The moment of absolute bliss was when she
would turn towards me, in hope that i would help her ‘escape’, by holding my
hand on the last day. She held my hand soo tightly that she just wouldn’t leave
me even after her session was over and she was supposed to go to the first
floor in the elevator.! :O What is all this if this is not COMMUNICATION of
emotions?
I am told that Muskaan
is only close to her mother. She has an elder sister and father with whom there
is not much of interaction. Sad...aint’t it? If Muskaan was my biological
sister , i would dedicate my life to her, pamper her, LOVE her! =( [ i still
would though... i’m never ever going to forget her!] she has taught me the
meaning of ‘relationship’. Muskaan loves
to wander when left to herself... imagine.. she is so FREE! Can normal humans
ever match this level of detachment and yet unconditional love? Can you imagine
undergoing intense physical or emotional pain and not complaining about it? us, so called normal human beings just know how to crib and whine about little worries. Can
you imagine talking incessantly to a person, without ever being conscious of
being JUDGED in return? I spent some beautiful moments talking with Muskaan that i’ve
never felt soo comfortable talking to anyone else! Muskaan teaches us the
power of non verbal communication. She is not Abnormal.. she is Above-normal!
=) We have so much to learn from these autistic children...that i'm overwhelmed with my every encounter with each one of them. they're far more interesting than us! =)
And all that I'm left
with my encounter with Muskaan in the beginning of this journey of the ‘kind’of
people i would like to interact and share my life with, are the words of wisdom
by my Sir, that it doesn’t matter what kind of therapy you are practicing... because
“EVERYBODY RESPONDS TO LOVE”...
I love Muskaan...
वो मासूम सी आँखें
वो धीमी सी मुस्कान ,
वो प्यारा सा चेहरा
भर के आकांक्षाएं हज़ार ...
वो छोटी सी पल्कें
वो होटों की सरसराहट ,
वो मोती आसूं का
रह गया मेरे पास ...
वो गुनगुनाती ख़ामोशी
वो सपने देखने की चाह
वो मद्धम हो रही ज़िन्दगी की आहट
क्यों नहीं सुन पाया मैं आवाज़ ?!
वो मासूम सी आँखें
वो धीमी सी मुस्कान ...
Don’t be so caught up
in words... you’re lucky to be able to speak... so keep EXPRESSING... in any
medium that you’re comfortable in! =)
We may represent love as a triangle, each of the angles of which corresponds to one of its inseparable characteristics. There can be no triangle without all its three angles, and there can be no true love without its three following characteristics:
The first angle of out triangle of love is that love knows no bargaining. The second angle of the triangle of love is that love knows no fear. The third angle of the love-triangle is that love knows no rival, for in it is always embodied the lover's highest ideal.
Love we hear spoken of everywhere. Everyone says, "Love God".Men do not know what it is to love. If they did, they would not talk so glibly about it. Every man says he can love and then in no time finds out that there is no love in his nature. Every woman says she can love and soon finds out that she cannot. The world id full of the talk of love, but it is hard to love. Where is love? How do you know there is love? The first test of love is that it knows no bargaining. So long as you see a man love another only to get something from him, you know that it is not love. It is shopkeeping. Wherever there is any question of buying and seeling, it is not love. So when a man prays to God, "Give me this, and give me that,"it is not love. How can it be? I offer you a prayer and you give me something in return. That is what it is- mere shopkeeping.
A certain great king went to hunt in a forest, and there he happened to meet a sage. He had a little conversation with him and became so pleased with him that he asked him to accept a present from him. "No", said the sage, "I am perfectly satisfied with my condition. These trees give me enough fruit to eat. These beautiful pure streams supply me with all the water I want. I sleep in these caves. What do I care for your presents, though you be an emporor?" The emporor said, "Just to purify me, to gratify me, come with me into the city and take some present."At last the sage consented to go with the emporor, and he was taken into the epmoror's palace, where there were gold, jewellery, marble, and most wonderful things. Wealth and power were manifest everywhere. The emporor asked the sage to wait a minute while he repeated his prayer, and he went to a corner and began to pray, "Lord, give me more wealth, more children, more territory." Meanwhile, the sage got up and began to walk away. The emporor saw him saw him going and went after him. 'Stay Sir, you did not take my present and are going away." The sage turned to him and said "Beggar, I do not beg of beggars. What can you give? You have been begging yourself all the time. "
That is not the language of love. What is the difference between love and shopkeeping if you ask God to give you this and give you that? The first test of Love is that it knows no bargaining. Love is always the giver and never the taker. Says the child of God: "If God wants, i give Him my everything, but i do not want anything from Him. I want nothing in this universe. I love Him because I want to love Him, and I ask no favour in return. Who cares whether God is almighty or not? I do not want any power from Him not any manifestation of His power. Sufficient for me that He is the God of love. I ask no more questions."
The second test is that love knows no fear. So long as man thinks of God as a Being sitting above the clouds, with rewards in one hand and punishments in the other, there can be no love. Can you frighten me into love? Does the lamb love the lion? The mouse, the cat? The slave, the master? Slaves sometimes simulate love, but is it love? where do you ever see love in fear? It is always a sham. With love never comes the idea of fear. Think of a young mother in the street: If a dog barks at her, she flees into the nearest house. The next day she is in the street with her child, and suppose a lion rushes upon the child. Where will be her position? Just at the mouth of the lion, protecting her child. Love conquered all her fear. So also in the love of God.
Who cares whether God is rewarder or a punisher? That is not the thought of a lover. Think of a judge when he comes home: What does his wife see in him? Not a judge, or a rewarder, or a punisher, but her husband, her love. What do his children see in him? Their loving father- not the punisher or rewarder. So the children of God never see in Him a punisher or a rewarder. it is only people who have never tasted of love that fear and quake. Cast off all fear- though these horrible ideas of God as a punisher or rewarder may have their use in savage minds. Some men, even th emost intellectual, are spiritual savages, and these ideas may help them. But to men who are spiritual, men who are approaching religion, in whom spiritual insight is awakened, such ideas are simply childish, simply foolish. Such men reject all ideas of fear.
The third is a still higher test. Love is always the highest ideal. When one has passed through the first two stages, when one has thrown off all all shopkeeping and cast off all fear, one then begins to realize that love is always the highest ideal. How many times in this world we see a beautiful woman loving an ugly man! How many times we see handsome man loving an ugly woman! What is the attraction? Lookers- on only see the ugly man or the ugly woman, but not so the lover. To the lover, the beloved is the most beautiful being that ever existed. How is it? The woman who loves the ugly man takes, as it were, the ideal of beauty that is in her own mind and projects it on thsi ugly man; and what she loves and worships is not the ugly man, but her own ideal. That man is, as it were, only the suggestion; and upon that suggestion she throws her own ideal and covers it, and it becomes her object of worship. Now this applies in every case where we love.
The highest ideal of every man is called God. Ignorant or wise, saint or sinner, man or woman, educated or uneducated, cultivated or uncultivated- to every human being the highest ideal is God. the synthesis of all the highest ideals of beauty, of sublimity, and of power gives us the most complete conception of the loving and lovable God.
- A chapter from Vedanta, the Voice to Freedom (Swami Vivekanda)
Hazel's gone. I don't see her around anymore. I have spent some beautiful moments with her. She was the first animal i've ever been so close to, hugged and kissed. She was a supreme experience of love. She'll always be special. I hope wherever she is, she's happy and safe. And i'm sure i'll meet her again...May be not as a D-O-G but may be as G-O-D.
'I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret.
Like this.'
-Rumi
It's almost as if i've come a full circle, literally and metaphorically. Arrived where i started from-myself!
From being a blind sculptor,the abstract tree, one of the 3 cats in a bin,the feather pen of a diary,a nosy boss, a compass, a demanding weaver,a lonely sharpener in a pencil box,a rigid sun,a hyperventilated designer, a confused foetus to an abstract painter or 'banwri'! Played many parts, created and destroyed, and at times, even rendered useless!
These past 4 years of my association with Centre for Creative Expressions,Karmic Research Centre (to know more:http://krcindia.org/ )has been divine. Not only because of the people i met there and connected to but because of it being an instrument or an inspiration to work with myself, which by the way i realized i love doing! It has been a subtly selfish journey,whether it be meditations,numerous theatre workshops (particularly 'Deewano ki Mehfils') or just being ME, i.e. tangible and intangible, lower self and higher self,real and 'maya'...everything and nothing!
Me, who took up this path of being a seeker, exploring with expression and love, undeterred and courageous, with occasional bumps of fear and confusions, withdrawals and guilt, but the path still remains... LIT as it always was. . .
Resplendent with Universe's incandescent energies of all kind from the so-called negative to positive, learning to use each one of them with the right INTENT.Yes, my journey with the self(/centre) can be summarized with work around this one word. INTENT OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Quite an abstraction! They're like some of the words and concepts (Meditation and happiness being another) which can't be described or explained or defined objectively! But can definitely be experienced. I do have an inkling and can proudly claim that i HAVE experienced them and have been privileged enough to realize them, allowing myself to be open to all kinds of energies involved in it, whether they are intellectual or emotional,(or again so called negative to positive)
And may be i would never be able to define such words in 'words' and may be i don't even want to! Coz i cherish those Moments! I go by experience...always have and i quite admire this quality about myself,otherwise i would never have had such experiences (which includes meeting/'working' with some amazing people that i have/am/will) Sometimes, words don't mean a thing, and that's where the 'experience' part seeps in. It's like a visualization that you see in your mind or a rythm that rings in your ears or a choreography that makes you dance!
I'm not gifted with words(for better or worse?) but i am gifted (like numerous other children of universe) with the ability to experience this Intent and Unconditional Love and a vehicle to share it by inviting you to this indescribable and indefinable experience! and That... I often do... with eclectic approaches and techniques! Who would understand and feel this better than Aks, your reflection!? =)
PS: And yes, Love is a selfishly unselfish act, but it's definitely NOT a Commodity! It's not malicious or polluted either. It's difficult, yet it is essential! And one of the uniqueness of this Act is that you cannot ACT it out! Rather...you won't be able to! You won't be able to cheat or pretend or wear a mask! and still it is a theatre of life, and we all must play our parts! ;)
Khunuk ân kas ke chu mâ shud, hame taslîm u rezâ shud
Geruv-e 'ishq u junûn shud, guhar-e bahr-e safâ shud.
'Happy the one who has become like us;
who has become all surrender and contentment;
Who has become the pledge of love and madness;
who has become a jewel in the sea of purity.'
