Art installation at India Art Fair 2013

                                                 

bani

Our name is our virtue?!

I love my name... 'bani' or ' vani' literally translates to Speech. the term appears in many Hindu vedic texts as well as sikh texts referring to gurbani- that is, guru's speech. one of my earliest reference to my name that was taught to me is with regard to one of Kabir's famous dohas.

एसी बानी  बोलिए, मन का आपा खोय ।    

औरन को शीतल करे, आपहु शीतल होय ॥

aesi bani boliye, mann ka aapa khoy

auran ko sheetal kare, aapahu sheetal hoy...

Translation:

Speak such words, sans ego's ploy

Body remains composed, giving the listener joy.

Recently, while studying Kundalini and Chakras, i came across an interesting reference and description of bani, that i feel like sharing. The following is an interaction between Vimalananda and the author that i've extracted from the book Aghora I and Aghora II- Kundalini by Robert Svoboda, wherein the teacher is explaining the disciple, the FOUR LEVELS OF SPEECH:

Mantra is the energy which moves your vehicle (the yantra) according to the road map (tantra).

Mantra is a collection of sounds. When pronounced their vibrations provide energy to yantra. Sound appears on an electromagnetic spectrum as one variety of energy which can be manipulated by the Tantric. There are three main types of Mantra:

a)      Descriptive- usually in Sanskrit, these Mantra describe wither the process undergone, the desired goal, or both.

b)      Meaningless- aggregations of sounds which have no known meaning in any human language.

c)       Bijas- individualized nasal syllables.

Bijas means seed, and these ‘seed-sounds’ produce fruit according to the Bijavrksha Nyaya, or the Law of Seed and Tree. These frequent repetition of these Bijas eventually results in a sort of standing wave, permanently energizing either an external Yantra or some area for the aspirant’s brain, resulting in the continuous production of a specific effect, one which is coherent with the personality invoked. Four types of Vani or speech exist for the pronunciation of Mantra:

a)      Vaikhari- vocal speech

b)      Madhyama- nasalized speech

c)       Pashyanti- purely mental repetition

d)      Para- telepathy is speech, in which only the intention but not the sound is conveyed.

The more subtle the speech, the deeper its effect on both the individual and the surrounding environment. Just as a laser produces coherent light, a human brain can produce coherent energy when a single frequency (Bija) is selected and is amplified appropriately with Yantra and Tantra.

The four levels of speech are, from lowest to highest, Vaikhari, Madhyama, Pashyanti and Para.

Vaikhari, vocal speech, is only for mundane things; it is physical speech, which always has an external object. Madhyama, as the name suggests, is midway between the mundane and the spiritual. It is mental speech so its object is internal. Pashyanti is only for spiritual things. Pashyanti means ‘seeing’-seeing with the divine eye, clairvoyance. Actually it is not seeing, it is perception, because the physical organ of sight plays no part or a very minor part in it. The eye acts only as a vehicle for this perception. And para is meant only for Rishis. It is beyond perception; it is telegraphic speech, the highest.

Vaikhari, Madhyama, Pashyanti are predominated by Tamas, Rajas and Sattva respectively. Since the world we know it, Maya, is the result of these Three Gunas, the use of these three forms of speech is limited, imperfect because they all exist within Maya. The state beyond the Gunas is the state beyond Maya. That state is perfect because it is absolute, and that is Para.

Look at it with the help of syllable Om. The three and half coils of the Kundalini represent the three and a half letters of the word Om: a, u, m, and anusvara (nasalization) at the end. But Om also has a bindu (orthographic dot) over the anusvara. Anusvara and bindu cannot exist without one another. Bindu is a point: position without dimension, as they define it in mathematics. Anusvara is pronounceable in Vaikhari and Madhyama, but bindu van be pronounced only in Pashyanti and Para. How do you pronounce a dot? You can’t , but the intention to pronounce it can be present. Intentions counts for nothing in Vaikhari. Intentions counts for something in Madhyama, and for a lot in Pashyanti. But intention counts for everything in Para. In fact, para is nothing but intention: the purified intention of a purified ego, a Kundalini Shakti which has been magnified millions of times by intense penance. Bindu is used when the Kundalini moves from the Vishuddha Chakra into the Ajna Chakra, when Shunya begins. That is the very nature of bindu: emptiness, which is the source of all sound, the field from which sound arises.

Here is another way to look at it. What is the word for ‘sweet’ in Sanskrit?

“Swadu or madhura”.

“Of all sweet things in the world only honey is madhu, because only honey can offer sweetness to the body without being digested first. This is because honey has already been digested by bees. Madhura has an extra ‘ra’ in it; that refers to the Fire Element. Anything that is madhura must first be digested before its sweetness can be released into the system. Of all forms of speech only Para is truly madhu. Para goes directly to its target and exerts its effect immediately, just as honey does in the body. All other speech must first be digested by the hearer before its effect can be felt. Pashyanti is always madhura, atleast , and Madhyama usually is, which is why they are so useful. But vaikhari is only sometimes sweet, because it is under the control of all Six Tastes. This is why sometimes we speak sweetly, and at other times our words are sharp, or bitter, or sour, or salty, or cold and hard.”

More on Kundalini later... =)

Have you ever thought about your name? does it mean anything? does it hold any significance in your life?

Catching Dust!

Something about the way you Smile, i may never know the Reason why... 

I am in the process of doing my undergraduate research project with autistic children.  Being an expressive person myself , i’m quite intrigued by the interplay of emotions. So when i was reading about autism and their ‘deficit’ of emotional understanding and attachment, it was hard to digest which is why i began my journey to explore and experiment...

Nevertheless, i shall rant less about my research and more about my new found love. Yes, I have been swept off my feet by one of such priceless ‘gem’ that I discovered during my exploration.  Her name is Muskaan which literally translates to a smile.

Muskaan is a 13 year old (extremely pretty) autistic and non verbal child. This means that apart from autistic symptoms, she has not spoken a word or a syllable or a sound since her birth. Quite evidently, being a non verbal child, I could not proceed with my ‘research design’ with her, since my activity involved at least basic communication verbal with the child. Moreover, Muskaan has also had frequent epileptic fits since the age of 2 years. She is EXTREMELY thin, with no basic human instinct to eat and drink (so practically food has to be forced into her). She also suffers from gravitational insecurity (especially an avoidance towards stairs, though she is comfortable in an elevator.)

The only time that I spent with her was 2 hours (1 hour on each day) during her session of Auditory Integration Therapy. I am told that she has made marked improvements. There was a time when Muskaan would just refuse to hear any sound or music and immediately locate it’s source to unplug it. She also has this obsession of holding pins (board pins or staple pins) in her hand, but she is not at all self injurious. She also has this constant habit of peeling... (wood paint or scratching anything that is scratch-able).

Even though I spent only 2 hours with her, her presence in my life has been bliss. That one hour with her seemed like ages of communication making time- elastic and filtering moments. The first time I met her, she did not seem scared of me at all (otherwise very atypical of her behaviour).  The second time I met her, was after a gap of 20 days. She entered the room, came towards me and held my sweater from the waist. Was she hugging me? :O *dazed* I would definitely like to assume YES! And this was one of those moments i felt i was in a trance and unable to react. She spent some time looking around in the room, locating the pin and holding it in her hand. The speech therapist and i had to forcefully make her sit down to make her listen to musical rhymes on the computer as part of her routine.

Muskaan generally has an expressionless face, with only occasional slight smiles. Her smiles are to die for... i used to literally dance whenever i would see her smile or meet her eye (as she rarely makes an eye contact). The moment of absolute bliss was when she would turn towards me, in hope that i would help her ‘escape’, by holding my hand on the last day. She held my hand soo tightly that she just wouldn’t leave me even after her session was over and she was supposed to go to the first floor in the elevator.! :O What is all this if this is not COMMUNICATION of emotions?

I am told that Muskaan is only close to her mother. She has an elder sister and father with whom there is not much of interaction. Sad...aint’t it? If Muskaan was my biological sister , i would dedicate my life to her, pamper her, LOVE her! =( [ i still would though... i’m never ever going to forget her!] she has taught me the meaning of ‘relationship’.  Muskaan loves to wander when left to herself... imagine.. she is so FREE! Can normal humans ever match this level of detachment and yet unconditional love? Can you imagine undergoing intense physical or emotional pain and not complaining about it? us, so called normal human beings just know how to crib and whine about little worries. Can you imagine talking incessantly to a person, without ever being conscious of being JUDGED in return? I spent some beautiful moments talking with Muskaan that i’ve never felt soo comfortable talking to anyone else! Muskaan teaches us the power of non verbal communication. She is not Abnormal.. she is Above-normal! =) We have so much to learn from these autistic children...that i'm overwhelmed with my every encounter with each one of them. they're far more interesting than us! =)

And all that I'm left with my encounter with Muskaan in the beginning of this journey of the ‘kind’of people i would like to interact and share my life with, are the words of wisdom by my Sir, that it doesn’t matter what kind of therapy you are practicing... because “EVERYBODY RESPONDS TO LOVE”...

I love Muskaan...

वो मासूम सी आँखें 

वो धीमी सी मुस्कान ,

वो प्यारा सा चेहरा 

भर के आकांक्षाएं हज़ार ...

वो छोटी सी पल्कें 

वो होटों की सरसराहट ,

वो मोती आसूं का 

रह गया मेरे पास ...

वो  गुनगुनाती ख़ामोशी 

वो सपने देखने की चाह 

वो मद्धम हो रही ज़िन्दगी की आहट 

 क्यों नहीं सुन पाया मैं आवाज़ ?!

वो मासूम सी आँखें 

वो धीमी सी मुस्कान ...

 

Don’t be so caught up in words... you’re lucky to be able to speak... so keep EXPRESSING... in any medium that you’re comfortable in! =)

Blessed be

Cosmic Dance

Only dance, and your illusions will blow in the wind
Dance, and make joyous the love around you
Dance, and your veils which hide the Light
Shall swirl in a heap at your feet…

-The Dancing Cry Of The Soul, ~Rumi

Jaya jaya shiva shambhu

COSMOS

Chaos to order →order to self→ self to meditation → meditation to others →others to back to self.

No wonder i love circles! I have been shaking a leg in this cosmic dance especially in the last month of 2012. Words can’t describe... but i will still try to give you a glimpse of the last few moments of 2012. I’m a strong believer in universe’s conspiracy. When you want something, it happens. It happens when you have the intent of making it happen. Oops got, philosophical there. Nevertheless, i just wanted to share my travel to Rishikesh, Tehri and New Tehri. It’s amazing how travelling, mountains, river and the chill in the air make me soo happy, at peace with myself, and this time, engaging me to make me better connected with the microcosm, my relationship with the microcosm! Damn, i love India, especially it's Geography... As rightly put by Lord Byron,There is pleasure in the pathless woods,there is a rapture on the lonely shore, There is society where none intrudes. By deep see and music in its roar,i love not the man less...but nature more....!
 

Lived in an ashram along the Ganges...

The beautiful aarti, and vedic chants at the Paramarth Ashram

 Tehri and new tehri...

The deeper you go,the higher you fly,

                                                                                            The higher you fly the deeper you go

..And I dance the thousand dances of love, all returning to you....

I love new years..., newness lies in the heart, it lies in you as to how you would want to make each day as different. 2013 shall be the year of more love... Happy 2013!

The pain is not a final destination.

Been thinking a lot lately about Time, Moments, People, Love, Pain and Pleasure. Love winter rain...
hope you all are doing well.. just felt like sharing these 2 songs that I'm stuck to at the moment... Enjoy and be well =) !

"The pain is not a final destination"

                                          Another version of Back to Black of Amy Winehouse

                                                    Baby it's cold outside- Lady Antebellum

Moments...

Time's a thief,
a stench of truth.
And moments are the dust in your eyes.
Sometimes, racing past you
Sometimes carrying you with itself.
Can you catch this dust?

Dust, that sometimes decorates your porcelain skin
as glitter around your eyes?
Dust, that at other times hypnotizes you
causing an episodic fugue?
Can you catch that dust?

Will you promise to catch this dust for me
and save in a jar called Nothing?
Will you promise love, not to label this star-dust?
and let it be OURS, forever...

1.12.12, 12:20 am.

Are you blind?

Firstly, I'm really happy to invite you all to one of my last 'performances' in college. After a month of directing  my juniors, I myself feel like going up on the stage and acting! Been really long..but then, it's kind of hard for me to facilitate and act at the same time. Today I'm remembering my dear seniors and 'teachers' who have given me some amazing moments on stage as co- actors as well as directors. We're nearing our performance..and the cast is all geared up. One thing I've realized about myself is that I really love working with amateur actors. I love workshopping with them.. It's so raw and beautiful and genuine! I'm going to miss all this... Anyway, so here's an open invitation to you all! :P

There's another thing i feel like writing about.. probably as means of catharsis. Something that has been irritating me since yesterday.. I was there at college yesterday, and reached there a little early for practice. Seemed like there was some event yesterday since it was buzzing with people from other colleges. So there's a place just outside our auditorium, a space between 4 pillars where students usually decorate Rangoli or an installation depending on what the event is. Yesterday the place was decorated with a beautiful rangoli. As I was sitting, waiting in the foyer, I noticed a girl run over the rangoli, and I literally had a jaw drop. I was shocked and before i could tell her, she ran away. Probably she was in a hurry. I got back to reading my book, when again I noticed a guy walk over the rangoli as if he was completely blind! :O That was the time I snapped and asked him why couldn't he walk around the pillar rather than walk OVER a piece or art?! It's not even as if there is a lack of space! And the worse thing is that I saw 3 more people doing that. Are people really blind that they can't SEE Art let alone appreciate it.. or they just ignorant!? Not belonging from our college is not even an excuse that i can fathom for such an act! Seeing the rangoli getting spoiled in front of my eyes, while i was there practicing was really really painful! =(