Friday, February 11, 2011

Dot

न -अहम्  चक्रम  अस्मि
अहम्  तु  केवलं  तस्य  एकम  बिंदु  अस्मि...
An exploration... from Aham 'अहम्' to Maha 'माहा'

"Bindu is variously described by teachers as the essence of speech (sabdatattva), unsound word, Brahman Kundalini, the stable, knowledge, energy, the transcendent one, the primal sound, the great 'maya', the void and unstruck sound.
Bindu, literally meaning a drop or a point, 'drapsa' in Vedic Sanskrit, and 'avayava', body according to Panini, prominently refers to the point which goes to form a material body of the universe.
Mahabindu or simply bindu is said to be the seed of creation. It is this manifest form of 'thisness' from which the whole creation receives its nourishment.
Mahabindu has two aspects, one being that of evolution from which everything proceeds, is maintained and nourished, while the other is that of involution in which everything goes back to the source and finally merges in i-consciousness"
-Kalatattvakosa

"Force without face
Matrix of forms
And rampant against forms
In space an eye without face contemplates"
-Henri Michaux

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Trampled...

" A wanderer is not an escape artist, and one is not a lonely number."
These words kept ringing in my ears as i (along with my friend) went on an exploration today..., to the places unknown to us. No, we did not go on a road trip to any forest, hills, beaches or plains but out of sheer boredom and availability of 'time' (=/)  set out to explore our own college and discovered some really interesting places.

Random Walking: I always wonder why we do 'random walking exercise' in every theatre workshop... But bah.. it helps! ;)
So as we started walking towards the back-lawns of our college, i came across a really spooky yet mystic tree! Ah! how much i love trees... Barren. Yet a creative spree!
Guess,  it acted as my incentive to keep walking in anticipation of more beauty...

Walking further, we entered a nursery.
Green. Quiet. Tranquil.
Just us (both) and them (plants).
A breath of life, eloquent in its silence.
Little did we both realize that we ended up spending 45minutes in that nursery. Quite less...but seemed like an unfathomable sea of time...
Little (barely) did we talk, but heard the unheard.. the अनसुनी ...
The chirrupings of birds, the rustling of leaves, the sound of wind...  i was filled to the brim! =)



But i was receiving more...
Ashes. A pool of ashes caught my eyes. Wood ash. And i knew in that very instance that i HAD to collect some of it. There is something strange about ashes (apart from its Greyness, texture, taste and form) that arouses a feeling of awe in me. It is charged with 'is-ness'. It is what it is. The Allness and Infinity, an Identity (lost or found) in its own... Yet, it's not. 
sigh.

Time flew...as if in a wink... and we observed more...
Another wanderer, like us. An eagle flying above us in the open skies. Seeking, searching for its 'prey'. (probably). We don't know if it found one...
But we surely felt prey to all this grandiose beauty that we saw, heard, smelt and felt...

"It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once.
and it's too much...
My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.
and then i remember to relax...
And stop trying to hold on to it.
and then it flows through me like rain...
and i can't feel anything But
Gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... "

*Silence.* We all shared that Universe of silence.

and we came back... trampling on those 'Fallen Angels'...
my friend
me



















I better RELAX... and go paint... =)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Woman Artist ;)

Sharing another of the pieces of a recent production- Mannequins In Elysium i did as a part of IBSEN Festival for Colleges...
We used the following pieces in our play as an introduction and the other one in a song... quite like them!


 and...


~I'm not  an aunt jemima, ballbreaker, biker chick, bimbo, bitch, bombshell, bra burner, bull dyke, butch, call girl, carmen miranda, china doll, dumb blonde, fag hag, femme fatale, feminazi, geisha, girl next door, gold digger, good catholic girl, harem girl, ho, homegirl, hot tamale, indian princess, lady boss, lipstick lesbian, lolita, mother teresa, nympho, old hag, old maid, pinup girl, prude, slut, soccer mom, squaw, stage mom, supermodel, tokyo rose, tomboy, trophy wife, valley girl, vamp, wicked stepmother or yummy mummy! DON'T STEREOTYPE ME!
-The Guerrilla Girls 



one AMAZING  experience that i shall always cherish! 
 =)

Friday, January 21, 2011

Birds...

Coz i hate to be Caged or have my wings clipped...
coz i'm a freebird..... *wink*

Just some amateur photography... My incandescent love for Birds... =)


                        dec 2,2010


 13 + 1 freebirds... ;)
                        dec 2,2010


                        oct 27,2010
"Kya bataoon maa kahan hoon main
Yahan udney ko mere khula aasmaan hai...
Tere kisson jaisa bhola salona
jahan hain yahan sapno vala
Meri patang ho befikar udd rahi hai maa..
Dor koi loote nahin beech se kaate na..."


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A thousand desires such as these

Just felt like sharing a piece of beautiful poetry... a combination of song Hazaron Khwaishein aisi (part2) and the original ghazal by Ghalib

A thousand desires such as these
A thousand moments to set this night on fire
Reach out and you can touch them
You can touch them with your silences
You can reach them with your lust
Rivers mountains rain
Rain against a torrid hill’s cape
A thousand
A thousand desires such as these

हज़ारों  ख्वाहिशें  ऎसी  की  हर  ख्वाइश  पे  दम  निकले
बहुत  निकले  मेरे  अरमान  लेकिन  फिर  भी  कम  निकले 
(Thousands of desires, each worth dying for...
many of them I have realized...yet I yearn for more...)

 I loved rain as a child
As a lost young man
Empty landscapes
Bleached by a tired sun
And then
And then suddenly it came
Like a dark unknown woman
Her eyes scorched my silences
Her body wrapped itself around me
Like a summer without end

 निकलना  खुल्द  से  आदम  का  सुनते  आये  थे  लेकिन
बहुत  बे-आबरू  होकर  तेरे  कूचे  से  हम  निकले 
(We have heard about the dismissal of Adam from Heaven,
With a more humiliation, I am leaving the street on which you live...

another metaphorical meaning: of the unclean birth of man from the womb one has heard
But you must see my rebirth when i passed shamelessly by your door... )

Pause me, hold me, reach me,
Where no man has gone
Crossing the seven seas
With the wings of fire
I fly towards nowhere
And you
Rivers mountains rain
Rain against a scorched landscape of pain

मुहब्बत  में  नहीं  है  फर्क  जीने  और  मरने  का
उसी  को  देख  कर  जीते  हैं  जिस   काफिर पे  दम  निकले 
 (When in love, there is little difference between life and death
we live by looking at the infidel who we are willing to die for)

A thousand desires such as these
A thousand moments to set this night on fire
Reach out and you can touch them
You can touch them with your silences
You can reach them with your lust
Rivers mountains rain
Rain against a torrid hill’s cape
A thousand
A thousand desires such as these...
हज़ारों  ख्वाहिशें  ऎसी  की  हर  ख्वाइश  पे  दम  निकले
बहुत  निकले  मेरे  अरमान  लेकिन  फिर  भी  कम  निकले...

the complete ghazal:
डरे  क्यों  मेरा  कातिल  क्या  रहेगा  उसकी  गर्दन  पर
वो  खून  जो  चश्म-ए-तर  से  उम्र  भर  यूं  दम -बे-दम  निकले 
(so don’t cry , my love, you didn’t cause this pain
 It was my fault that I fell so intensly in love with you.)

भरम  खुल  जाए  ज़ालिम  तेरे  कामत   की  दराजी  का
अगर  इस  तुर्रा -ए -पुरापेच -ओ -ख़म  का  पेच -ओ -ख़म  निकले 
 (Oh tyrant, your true personality will be known to all
if the curls of my hair slip through my turban!)
 
मगर  लिखवाये  कोई  उसको  ख़त  तो  हमसे  लिखवाये 
हुई  सुबह  और  घर  से  कान  पर  रख कर  कलम  निकले 
(for a long while, I wanted no more than that I get to write the poetic letters
your many admires make me write to you,
 i went each day, like to work , with a pen behind my ear)
 
हुई  इस  दौर  में  मंसूब  मुझसे  ब़डा-आशामी 
फिर  आया  वो  ज़माना  जो  जहां  से  जाम -ए -जम  निकले 
(and I was acquainted with such intoxication during this period of knowing you,
that the world , after ,  appeared  passionless and dry.)

हुई   जिनसे  तवक्को  खस्तगी  की  दाद  पाने  की
वो  हमसे  भी  ज्यादा  खस्ता -ए -तेग -ए -सितम  निकले 
(From whom I expected justice/praise for my weakness
turned out to be more injured with the same cruel sword)

ज़रा  कर  ज़ोर  सीने  पर  की  तीर -ए -पुरसितम  निकले
जो  वो  निकले  तो  दिल  निकले  जो  दिल  निकले  तो  दम  निकले  
( Put some pressure on your heart to remove that cruel arrow,
for if the arrow comes out, so will your heart...and your life)

खुदा  के  वास्ते  पर्दा  न  काबे  से  उठा  ज़ालिम
कहीं  ऐसा  न  हो  याहाँ  भी  वही  काफिर  सनम  निकले  
(For god's sake, don't lift the cover off any secrets you tyrant
the infidel might turn out to be my lover!)

कहाँ  मैखाने  का  दरवाज़ा  ग़ालिब  और  कहाँ  वाइज़
पर  इतना  जानते  हैं  कल  वोह  जाता  था  के  हम  निकले 
(The preacher and the bar's entrance are way apart
yet I saw him entering the bar as I was leaving!)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

goodbye...

Dear 2010,
As I see you going by, i thought i should express my gratitude to you before you leave me!
Thanks for making me feel the pangs of hatred and shades of love...
We shall never meet again! =)
Time to move on...
Blessed be!
Take care...
I'll always be there! :*


Yours
~bani =)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Winter...

The silken zephyr blows through my face,
lustrous,velvety,
Shades of grey with silver sparkles
through my soul,the empty space...

The changing seasons have always been amusing to the human mind...
the season of winter too causes ambivalence in our life,Universe and everything around us.
It symbolises death and isolation for some and a beginning and union for others.
Standing amidst all is a tree.., a figment of my imagination.
give it a colour- violet,silver,gold,turquoise, white? (or black?)
give it a voice- agnostic.
give it a shape- abstract

This winter I experienced a journey in its own... Through a face,i give it mine! =) and engaged in a dialogue with this so called multiple branched 'abstract' tree! This season too my friend and i were discussing NUMBNESS, when we boiled down to saying that it can be caused by two factors (broadly speaking!) : extreme pleasure or extreme sadness (oh well, sadness would be an understatement,desolation or melancholy would sound better?! =/ ) But apart from the discussion, i experienced Numbness too this winter... (the reason of which i'm still trying to figure out!) The point i'm trying to make is maybe Numbness doesn't really have a causation... (just a maybe).. It's a void after all... a deep abyss.., the 'grays' in life that i often ignore/d while switching from white to black or vice-versa...

This season too... I caught a glimpse of the Winter Moon
                         and we smiled together at the insipid world of gloom!
                         I touched the fresh morning dew,
                         I saw some flowers,blossomed,yet how few!
                         I stood amidst the Haze, i warmed myself in the 'halki dhoop'
                        And yet again, i start anew...

coz in the end...               "जैसा दर्द हो, वैसा मंज़र होता है 
                                       मौसम तो इंसान के अन्दर होता है ! "

P.S.- This was written in a state of disgust yet satisfaction of having facilitated a meditation,and making others see the light, and yet not being able to do it myself... (strange,isn't it?!)
nevertheless, 'I received'... THANKS to the 'Mirror', and the entire cast (aks ,sugandha, sanjana, shivangi, yamini)co-workers(Apurva,Samira,Diva) of  'मौसम तो इंसान के अन्दर होता है',a dialogue... (
  " Even when times are a mixed bag of fare,
   When tepid or eager highs and lows snare,
    There is a gentle space within me
       Where I can be, as creative as can be! " =)